When you know that the passing of a loved one is approaching imminently, it can often be harder to deal with than a sudden death.
The prolonging of the unknown has the power to stir up a huge mix of emotions and can be extremely difficult to deal with and so we have prepared a handy guide as to what to consider and when
When the news hits
This is often the toughest part of the process, if anything due to the initial shock.
You will be feeling sad, angry, maybe even guilty and more all at once. Everyone handles and processes bad news differently and so, again, there is no set or right way to go about it here. It can often help to take some alone time in order to process things, and then to try and speak to close friends or family about what you have just heard and how you are feeling.
What to do with the time you have left
When people are asked what their strongest feeling is post the passing of someone close, the most common response is usually, guilt.
We often feel that we didn’t spend enough time with our family member or friend when they were alive, due to work, other commitments and just life getting in the way in general. What can help is a push to spend as much time as possible with our loved one and create as many memories as possible while they are still around. This has two obvious benefits, in the first instance, it will distract the person who is dying and help divert the focus away from the inevitable and onto enjoying those moments with friends and family. In the second instance, this push will help you create some long lasting memories that will be there long after your friend or family member passes. Plan some days out (if you can) and arrange to fly old friends and family in from abroad if that is the case. If the person is mobile, maybe arrange a holiday to their favourite destination accompanied by their best friends. There are plenty of ways to help ensure that this unique and heavy period in your and your family’s life is made that much more bearable.
Approaching the End
Unfortunately, as time moves on and the person’s condition deteriorates, people often feel lost and confused as the power to help diminishes both quickly and significantly.
Try your best to stay as calm as possible, despite what is going on, this is obviously easier said than done but the more positive you appear in front of your loved one, the better it will be for all. Everyone is thinking about the end, but noone wants to know about it and so your support at this time could and most probably will act as a true crutch for whoever it is that spends time with you. If you are able to, make sure they are as comfortable as possible, potentially playing their favourite songs or films for them, even trying their favourite foods. The goal here is not to forget and not think about sad news, only for it to affect you tenfold after the passing, but in order to ensure the least amount of pressure and stress is put on whoever it is that is enduring this ordeal, you must try as hard as possible to remain calm, positive and thoughtful in whatever you do.